Rejected iPod Engravings

As you may know, you can order an iPod from the Apple Store with a custom, laser-engraved message. However, not everything gets engraved. Apple has been rejecting some messages for editorial reasons.

The following is a collection of engravings that were actually rejected by Apple, and some that probably should have been. Enjoy!

• 10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside* ~Anonymous
• iMolest kids.* ~ gushasan
• Not to be used as a suppository.* ~Umbralkin
• I cost more than three hookers.* ~Umbralkin
• When my battery dies, so will you.* ~Umbralkin
• Not responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain.* ~Anonymous
• iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible. * ~Jimmy4Kim
• Rip, Mix, & Burn Down RIAA Headquarters* ~Anonymous
• Cocaine and razor blade not included.* ~Carl
• Lick My Shiny Metal Ass* ~Anonymous
  
• karma is a bitch* ~Anonymous
• Bad Mother Fucker* (settled with “Bad Mother Fucka) ~Ben
• Something small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn’t In.* ~wiredgargoyle
• I play with myself.* ~ leonardom
• Steal this? Will self destruct when used.* ~Anonymous
• iMasturbate five times a day* ~rjones
• F uck Osama.* ~Anonymous
• Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time* ~Mike P.
• I cost more per ounce than cocaine.* ~dgcole
• This iPod will self destruct in 1 year.* ~dale
• Practice safe sex… Go FU*K yourself!* ~whocares590
• Controls on reverse side, you STUPID FCUK!* ~Christiaan

THE FOLLOWING WERE NOT REJECTED, BUT STILL VERY CLEVER and/or FUNNY

• Mohammed The iPhone ~rjmellish
• Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help ~Pheenix
• “One time at band camp.” ~JLOVE
• 49 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 72 75 6c 65 ~TehSnarf
  (translation: I f-ing rule in HEX)
• Turn Me Over And Rub Your Thumb All Over Me
• This engraving has lowered my resale value ~I00s3r
• I don’t need good taste, I’ve got selection.~Umbralkin
• Kiss me, I’ve got Irish music.~Umbralkin
• To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks! ~ Plaid Speed
• George Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West
• fatti i cazzi tuoi (Mind your own f-ing business) ~gatherings
• I Don’t Do Windows ~Anonymous

• Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A ~ukealii50
• My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon ~commongiga
• Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed ~Nick A.
• Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo ~Anonymous
• Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$ ~Anonymous
• I may be small and white but at least I’ve got a big disk! ~Jesse S.
• Don’t fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null
• Scratch your balls, not my metal. ~Anonymous
• Who said Apple sucks? ~Jaeboy
• Save water, drink beer and shower together. ~ Jquinn825
• Now you have two little white pocket rockets. ~Anonymous
• People will pay more to be entertained than educated. ~DulceDL
  eche16
• WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set. ~Anonymous
• 10,000 reasons to ignore my wife. ~Anonymous
• If only women’s buttons were this easy to push. ~Anonymous
• This iPod makes up for my small hard disk. ~Anonymous
• Once you go small and white… ~Anonymous
• 98% Liberace-free! ~Anonymous
• Harmful If Swallowed. ~Anonymous
• Dear [insert name], Thanks for the iPod idea. Steve Jobs ~IFC1
• I’m so trendy look at my white headphones! ~sjs
• Size Does Matter ~Anonymous
• Musically Disturbed ~Joe F.
• Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside ~wiredgargoyle
• Contents Under Pressure from RIAA ~wiredgargoyle
• My other handheld is a PocketPC ~vostinar
• CDs are for amish people! ~mustachioman
• Quarter free jukebox ~mustachioman
• FCUK WINDOWS ~lancew
• Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly. ~tipx
• I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who’s the man? ~Anonymous
• My iPod can beat up your honor roll student. ~Anonymous
• Your mamma uses a walkman. ~Anonymous
• “Say hello to my little friend” ~iiikora
• FCUK THE SHUFFLE, WTF I Ordered a 60 Gigger! ~dilpreet64